Freak of Nature
My life has more or less settled into a routine sort of way. Sure there is still work to be done, but I'm learning to stay on top of it. Surprisingly, I actually manage to carry out all the stuff that I've planned for a particular day. Maybe my planning's getting better. Or maybe I'm just beginning to have a lower expectation of myself. I don't know.The ironic thing is, just when your life starts to settle down, the term is going to be over. Within 3 weeks' time, the syllabus would've been covered, and I would have to start preparing for my exams already. These 4 months are just jam-packed with work and work. It's not very healthy, personally speaking. It's like going for a sprint without having warmed-up, and force to slow down immediately crossing the finishing line. Will develop mental cramps after april.
I know that the purpose of this blog is to foster a sense of bond, but it's difficult to when everyone is not comfortable with sharing other than what they consider 'safe material'. I know I am. No one likes to feel vulnerable, especially when it comes to feelings. I shall attempt to break the barrier.
Experiencing weird mood swings frustrates me. It frustrates me because it affects me to a real extent that I cannot get on with my routine life. The sense of helplessness and lack of control can at times just kill me. Sigh. But sometimes I just let things be and hope that whatever is bugging me right now will soon pass with time.
My goal in life is to keep myself as happy as possible. Which is why I take great pleasure in justifying my feelings. No matter how wrong or weird or stupid they seem to people, I will try to rationalise it away so that it affects me no more. And sometimes, I get so caught up in my theory that I wonder if I've lost sight of the original meaning of it. Whether what I'm living is the truth or a lie.
Right now I'm in a twilight zone (kinda), not wishing to face reality yet not wanting to wake up from the fantasy.
Having said so much, I guess I've not touched the main point (or is there one?). But we shall leave it like that for now, shall we? Till next time...
1 Comments:
hmm... i guess ppl haf other channels to write abt their own stuff?? like their own blogs? well... datz why this particular one isn't too active other than for organising or "documenting" class stuff bah...
and erm... not wishing to face reality and not wanting to wake up from the fantasy is abt the same... =P
Ganbatte~~ term is ending le... *which means exams are coming*
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